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Recently, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing night in. Instead of stressing about how I should be cleaning my apartment or working out or writing or doing a million other things, I sat on the couch with a cup of tea and watched a movie. The movie I watched was one I had been curious about for a while: Ingrid Goes West.
To be honest, I knew very little about this movie. It starred Aubrey Plaza, who I follow on Instagram. She’d been promoting it, and I like her in other things so I thought, “Why not?”
Unfortunately, the movie really brought down my otherwise relaxing night.
What I didn’t realize when starting the film was that it is about someone with a mental illness. I thought it would be some funny indie film that I wouldn’t 100% get, but it wasn’t. Instead, it was a really disappointing ride of emotions.
The movie is about a young woman, Ingrid, who suffers from some kind of mental illness. She recently lost her mom—her best friend—and craves human connection. To fill this need, she seeks out other women on Instagram with seemingly perfect lives and tries to befriend them.
There are other movies out there that try to follow this general plot line—“crazy” girl gets obsessed with someone else and tries to live that someone’s life or be her friend or date her. Most of these movies are horror movies and end with the “sane” girl defeating the “crazy” one through murder or some other means. See Single White Female or The Roommate.
What was refreshing about Ingrid Goes West was that Ingrid wasn’t portrayed fully as a “crazy” person. Sure, she did a little too much social media (and actual) stalking, but overall her character was really relatable. She was lonely and awkward. She was bad with money and pretended to like things she didn’t to make friends. She sometimes made poor decisions, and other times, she was an honest and loving friend.
There were times in the movie that I cringed at the choices Ingrid made. There were also times that I smiled because someone appreciated her quirky qualities. But then the ending came…
SPOILER ALERT!
Toward the end of the movie, Ingrid’s new “friend,” Taylor, realizes that Ingrid’s been lying about who she is, and she cuts her off completely. A few scenes later, Ingrid crashes her ex-friends’ party and asks to speak with her. Ingrid calls Taylor out for being as fake as she was, saying, “When you moved here, you were lame and basic and you had no friends. You were just like me.” Taylor responds, “You know what, Ingrid, I was actually never like you because you are a sad and pathetic and very sick person and you need professional help.”
In the next scene, Ingrid sits alone in a candlelit room. She posts a final video to social media before taking a handful of prescription drugs. It was a dark ending, but it was also honest, and I respected the director for not trying to sugarcoat the pain of mental illness. After all, someone you love calling you pathetic could be enough to push you over the edge if you’re struggling with a serious illness. I didn’t think it was dramatic. I thought it was true.
Ingrid’s speech at the end was spot-on for someone dealing with depression, and I got a little teary-eyed listening to the pain in Ingrid’s voice as she was finally honest about what she dealt with internally:
“I know there’s something wrong with me, but I don’t know how to fix it and I don’t know how to change. And I just don’t think I can change. Maybe this is just who I am. And maybe I’m just tired of trying to make people like me. And I’m tired of pretending like I’m someone I’m not. And I’m tired of being alone. And I’m just tired of being me.”
As the screen faded to black, I was sad but also hopeful that a movie took the realities of mental illness and shared it without apology. Ingrid’s monologue brought up one of the most important aspects of mental illness: knowing there is something wrong but not knowing how to fix it. I hoped that the ending might get people to think about what needs to change so that people like Ingrid can find the help they need without being called pathetic.
But then, another scene came on the screen. Ingrid is in a hospital bed surrounded by get well soon gifts. A friend called the police in time to save her from her suicide attempt. He tells her that her suicide video went viral and that she has thousands of followers and is an inspiration.
Sigh. So disappointing. The movie had such promise! It talked honestly about mental illness. It made an effort to make someone with mental illness relatable. It showed the real struggle that someone goes through. It almost had a meaningful ending that made you think and question how we address mental illness today. And then it took a left turn and decided to comment on how social media is ruining us all. Please. That story’s been told, and it’s not as important as the story they could have told.
The world today doesn’t need to hear another cautionary tale about social media. What the world needs to hear is that people with mental illness are people too. That they have an illness, not that they’re crazy or that their problems can be solved by Instagram fame. The world needs to hear that other people might feel what you feel, or what I feel, and we are not bad people for feeling that way. People with mental illness need to hear that they can be helped, have relationships, and thrive. People without mental illness need to hear how they can help us get help, have relationships, and thrive.
In the end, it was just another movie that got mental illness wrong. It left people without mental illness with the wrong impression of those who struggle with it, and it gave people with mental illness the wrong solution to dealing with it. Ingrid Goes West had the potential to really tackle the issue but instead went for the easier target of social media. Another director was too afraid to go all-in on mental illness. I suppose by now, I should be used to that, but I just keep hoping things will change.
If you know of any movies or shows that put mental illness at the center and get it right, please share them with me on Facebook. I would love to watch something that doesn’t leave me more depressed than I already am.
Anxious Abroad 
I recently watched this movie too and pretty much had the same reaction as you. I also thought it was just going to be a light comedy but ended up touching on some really deep rooted issues that many of us face. The ending for me was also a huge disappointment and I thought really sent the wrong message. Good read. Thanks for sharing.
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